You know the old saying, “one bad apple spoils the bunch”? I’ve come to wonder if the writer was really referring to decision making. It has been three months since my last post and in that time I’ve faced a number of personal and professional “setbacks” if you will. These moments have not been due to a sudden car crash, unexpected illness or jump in gas prices, NO, nothing like that. Instead they have been result of past bad choices. Not a week ago past but 8-10 years ago past. Without warning, mistakes that I have worked diligently to rectify suddenly appear smack in the middle of my life. What happened to learning from mistakes? Moving on? Getting better? Why now? Why not then?
Let me begin by saying that I am in NO WAY denying responsibility for MY decisions. However, I do believe that a mistake should have immediate consequences and an opportunity to make amends. I was taught to “make good choices” but no one ever told me that in some ways mistakes NEVER stop biting you in the butt! Even if you learn your lesson from a youthful mistake, you could suffer consequences for a lifetime.
So now what? Well, I can’t change my past but I will be sure to tell my children the TRUTH about mistakes. No one is able to truly get past their mistakes. You lose a small piece of your future in each one you make. They are not fleeting or temporary; they are infectious. They are spoiled apples that will cause every other apple you produce to be a little less sweet, a little less shiny and harder to eat because of the stink bad apples have left behind in your life.
Yesterday was filled with the smell of grills burning, the taste of barbeque and the sound of fireworks. The 4th of July commemorates the day that the United States gained its own legal, separate identity from Mother England.
The word independent paints a picture of freedom, success and doing things your own way; alone. However, as I ponder the current state of affairs in this country, the myriad of cult like, follow the leader activities that seem to saturate the media say otherwise.
From Facebook to Instagram, there are daily hot topics shared repeatedly by the masses. I find myself often looking for glimmers of individuality and creative thinking as proof that we are not a society of brain washed robots dressed as human beings. Women follow the latest trends and emulate the wardrobe of Hollywood stars while men try to maintain their “swag”. The few who do pave their own way are seen as rebels, weird or just simply “different”. I wonder if our hard fought for freedom has only served to erase our individual identity. What do you think?
Dear Dads and Father Figures,
This time last year I found myself infuriated over the insensitive, over-the-top and unnecessary posts of women being wished HAPPY FATHER’S DAY either by themselves or their loved ones. Over the course of the year the pain I felt for great fathers like my husband, who had been robbed of the ONE AND ONLY day set aside for them, only grew deeper. I have voiced my concern about this senseless epidemic in the “African-American Community” (I didn’t see Hallmark making Father’s Day Cards for single mothers of other races….hmmmm) to my husband many times. Being the “glass half full” man that he is, his only reply was “Babe, they can’t take my day away. Don’t focus on them.”
He was absolutely right. Instead, I want to say some of the things that will be lost in the messages of others on YOUR day.
The little girl in me who still sometimes questions her natural beauty says THANK YOU for treating your little girl like a princess and giving her a secure sense of self that she will greatly appreciate one day.
As the mother of a pre-teen boy, I THANK YOU for instilling the values, lessons and strength that ONLY A MAN can provide. THANK YOU for teaching your children that real men know how to LOVE.
THANK YOU for respecting the mother of your child/children and ensuring that they grow up to do so as well.
THANK YOU for being a leader and making tough decisions for the well-being of your kids.
THANK YOU for understanding that a PROVIDER gives physical, mental, emotional and financial support. For if giving money was all it took, then loan officers should get cards too, lol.
Last but not least, THANK YOU SO MUCH for never attempting to hi-jack Mother’s Day although you too, may be raising children without any help.
This of course does not cover ALL of the reasons you deserve to be honored on today but I hope that it helps to know that some women still believe that Father’s Day should be about YOU.
A Diamond Breed
Many of the finest cutting tools in the world are edged in diamond and no group understands why more than women. Overall, women seem to have an uncanny ability to dig into the seemingly hardest of exteriors. After an evening of SM, I am honestly drained from the critical, degrading, catty and disrespectful comments from WOMEN about WOMEN. I made diamonds the focus of this blog because I firmly believe that women are truly a treasure. However I’m afraid that I am raising daughters in a world where we diamonds are being diminished and destroyed by those who we should share the closest bonds with. When will the madness stop?
At this very moment there are only two people in the world who know that I’m writing on a blog so no one has actually “asked” me why I’ve decided to start a blog. Nevertheless, there is something inside me that is simmering, brewing and about to boil over so to speak. (Not to sound like a steel pot.) Tomorrow I return to work from a short vacation and I found myself thinking about how I have spent this time. After reflecting on my activities, I realized that I spent almost an hour this weekend watching a tutorial on the proper way to fill in your eyebrows. I followed this action by searching online for the best eyebrow brushes to use on my face. While I’m sure this sounds innocent (and boring) at first, the problem is that I HAD NO BUSINESS SPENDING OVER AN HOUR ON EYEBROWS! I am all for looking beautiful and all but did it deserve the amount of time and attention I had given it?
LET ME EXPLAIN……..
You see I am a wife, mother of three children and an elementary school teacher. Monday through Friday my day begins at 5 a.m. and often ends around 10:30 p.m. I spend 12-13 hours away from home each day between work and travel; only to return home to prepare dinner, wash clothes, check homework, grade papers and spend a few moments alone with my husband. My theoretical “weekend” is spent running errands I don’t have time for during the week, spending time with my children, going to church and grabbing a nap if I can. Most mornings I manage to put together a quick 10 minute face but that’s being generous. Even if I became an “expert” eye-brow filler, would I ever have the time to execute it?
THAT WAS THE MOMENT I REALIZED….
I realized that I was competing against the incessant influx of images and opinions on looks/lifestyle/beauty that fill our Facebook pages, T.V. shows, magazine covers and movie screens. The images that say “this” is what real, everyday women look like. Pictures that serve to make career women and mothers like me feel as if we are on the outside looking in. Today, I say to those images “NO!, I am what REAL WOMEN look like!” I have been told that women who love hard, work hard, raise children, help their families and encourage husbands are a “dying breed”. This could not be farther from the truth. We often exist quietly, putting everyone ahead of ourselves while others get all the glory. In reality it is us who are the role models, the trailblazers and the change makers. I am determined to shed a little light on OUR beauty, OUR lives, on OUR importance to the world. Not because we are superior or persecuted but because WE DESERVE IT! We are not at all a “dying breed” but instead a DIAMOND BREED.
Welcome readers. It is time to SHINE!